The Daily Habit: Money

•03/21/2010 • Leave a Comment

Not a brothel, no prostitutes 11:59 pm

8 Ways to Blow Your Plastic Wad – AMERICA –  If you’re like every other lazy bastard in America, you want to work at a place where you can earn the most amount of money doing the least amount of anything.  Yeah, sounds great, but it ain’t happening that way, unless your indulging in criminal activity.  In all reality you’re a hard-working slob who earns his money chunk by chunk, week after week, then you spend it foolishly within few minutes of the paycheck being direct deposited with just one swipe.  Some times it’s you debit super deluxe pizza maker with a built in kegerator and lounge chair, until your mom says you can’t make pizza or drink beer in your basement bedroom.  Other times it’s a replica suit of armor and VW bus-sized catapult charged at the county Renaissance Fair, then your wench laughes her head off when you pull into the driveway and says to “taketh it back or no pillaging for a fortnight” or two.  However, if you are the type who doesn’t think it’s any of your mother’s business what the hell you do with your mar card, or your nagging wife’s for that matter, then here is a list of 8  ways to blow your plastic wad like there’s no tomorrow, but oh, there will be.

1. Internet-  internet porn, internet shopping, internet PORN and SHOPPING.

2.  Big-ticket items-  Yes, a life-sized Millenium Falcon is a big-ticket item, but that lazer tracked photo ray will come in handy when your boss fires you for stealing lunches from the break room fridge.

3.  Deposit required-  Anything that requires a deposit is a for sure thing, though 2500 hundred credit card payments for that Ferarri might cut into the beer fund.

4.  Restaurants-  Hot wings and beer served by sluts in tight shirts at Hooters.  Enough said.

5.  Buy now, pay later-  No payments until 2012, unless you’re in a brothel in Vegas where happy endings are paid in full and up front, just by entering a pin.

6.  Recurring payments-  Isn’t great that mom is still paying for Hustler and Juggs magazine, ever since you secretlly put them on her Visa way back in college?

7.  Travel-  In just one click you can get Irie in Jamaica with a room full of Rastas for as long as Jah likes as long as Jah bank doesn’t find out.

8.  Gas station/licquor store/kwiki mart-  Where else can you get gas, three cases of beer, a bottles of Boone’s, two packs of tops, some chips, gum, a Hotrod magazine, 106 lottery tickes and some chapstick on the bank’s dime? (http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/109125/10-places-not-to-use-your-debit-card?mod=bb-checking_savings)

As smart as men think they are, sometimes reaching into a man-purse is like a multiple choice test in a 10th grade match class:  How much is this life-sized portrait of Motley Crue going to cost when it’s spread out into 106 monthly payments?  While credit cards may actually be a convenient way of paying for a bunch of junk you don’t need, and can’t afford,  you really should’t have access to one iaf you have a problem with spending money that’s not yours.  And, since a debit card is a direct line to your bank account, there are places where it can be wise to avoid handing it over – like whorehouses, gas stations and rock concerts.  But, it’s a pretty good chance that you don’t have more than $100 bucks in your checking account so spend the bank’s money freely till they cut you off completely.

The Daily Habit: Sports

•03/13/2010 • Leave a Comment

Tondo wins stage; Contador hangs onto Paris-Nice lead

Contador Hangs to Lead in Paris-Nice

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100313/sp_wl_afp/cyclingfra

 

The Daily Habit: Television

•03/13/2010 • Leave a Comment

View Image

MTV Abandons Generation Xers

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100305/music_nm/us_mtv

The Daily Habit: Cars

•03/13/2010 • Leave a Comment

 2010 Mitsubishi Outlander

Worts Smal SUVs

http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/autos_content_landing_pages/1361/the-worst-small-suv-money-pits/

The Daily Habit: Food

•03/12/2010 • Leave a Comment

View Image 11:59 pm

Fat Free Fries?   No Friggin Way – AMERICA- If there’s one snack food that absolutley ebmodies America’s bohemeth jones for fattening foods, french fries would be the winner.  Sure, there’s a few hundred other snacks that are known to clog up a  human being’s internal plumbing, but those crispy rods of what Carl from Sling Blade called “french fried potaters” are hard to beat.   You can drown them with ketchup, bake them with cheddar cheese and bacon, or if on a health food kick, you can make them a key ingredient in a sissified grilled-chicken salad.  But, and this is a big but, despite their golden-fried deliciousness, they’re fried in a kiddie-sized pool of vegetable oil and there dowsed with enough salt to kill an entire break dancing class at an old folk’s home.   So, if you’re fit as a fiddle and really don’t care about your caloric intake, or a lard ass with no concerns about being fat, check out the best friggin fries America’s finest restaurants have to offer.

Best Curly Fries- Arby’s Curly Fries (Large)- 640 calories-34 g fat (5 g saturated, 0 g trans)-1,460 mg sodium-  The saltier, greasier and curlier the better.

Best Wedge Fries – Jack in the Box Bacon Cheddar Wedges- 715 calories- 45 g fat (13 g saturated, 1 g trans)- 905 mg sodium-  Keep shoving them in your fat face and they’ll wedge up the old arteries before your fourth trip to the curly fry buffet.

Best fries for your bl00d pressure- Dairy Queen Chili Cheese Fries- 1,240 calories-71 g fat (28 g saturated, 0.5 g trans)- 2,550 milligrams sodium-  Eat em up ass stomach. Anything with chili only makes it taste better, particulary when it’s chased down with a banana split and free refills on fountain drinks.

Worst Regular Order of Fries – Five Guys Fries (large)- 1,464 calories- 71 g fat (14 g saturated)- 213 mg sodium-  They must be totally awesome if five guys give two thumbs up for a regular order of fries.

Best Fries in America- Chili’s Texas Cheese Fries w/Jalapeno Ranch- 1,920 calories- 147 g fat (63 g saturated)- 3,580 mg sodium- What’s better than a pizza pan piled high with tasty chili fries at Chili’s?  Chili fries at Chili’s drowned in fierly jalapenos and ranch dressing.  (http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/46018/americas-worst-french-fries-and-what-you-should-eat-instead/)

Since those snotty Frechmen have absolutely nothing to do with the name, french fries are practically an American birthright and we’ll kick the French’s ass if they say otherwise.  They’re an iconic offering at just about every fast-food joint and greasy spoon across the country, and they taste even better when they’re combined with other unlhealthy treats like burgers, dogs, hot wings, and all of the other heart attack inducing foods Americans are hooked on.  Sure, cooking them in a boatload of oil and submerging them in artery-clogging chili, cheese, bacon and seasoned salts may make them a tad unhealthy, but what the hell good are french fries without all of the yummy fixings?  So the next time you’re undecided on what healthy meal to eat, forget all about counting calories and head to the local drive through for a triple cheeseburger value meal with the extra, extra, extra large fries with extra salt and a two liter choclate shake.  Bon appetite fatso!

The Daily Habit: Baseball

•03/10/2010 • Leave a Comment

Former Boston Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra takes questions from reporters

Nomar Retires with Sox

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100311/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bba_red_sox_garciaparra_retires;_ylt=ArI4BeybsvRWpVgHZBc1x.YLMxIF;_ylu=X3oDMTMwZzNvNG1yBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwMzExL2JiYV9yZWRfc294X2dhcmNpYXBhcnJhX3JldGlyZXMEY3BvcwMzBHBvcwM3BHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcnkEc2xrA2dhcmNpYXBhcnJhYw

The Daily Habit: Technology

•03/10/2010 • Leave a Comment

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Blind Gamer Masters Zelda

http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/playback/playback-106/1392129