The Daily Habit: Finances

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6 Ways to Waste Your Pay Check – AMERICA –  If you’re like every other compulsive dumbass in America, there’s a damn good chance you have serious problems when it comes to saving money.  No matter how freaking hard you try, you can’t help spending  it like it’s free.  Trips to the Japanese massage parlor for rub-downs with a happy ending, trips to the casino for lap dances with a happy ending, and trips to your private horticulturist for bong hits and happy ending.  Fun, right?  Well, if it isn’t, here are 6 more ways to waste your hard-earned loot.

1.  Convenience stores.  Who cares if a loaf of bread is $7? They aren’t called “convenience” stores for nothing.

2.  Cell phone plans.  Plan on shelling out a few extra hundred each month.  Those calls to 1-800-Chubby-Chick sure eat up the minutes.

3.  Soft drinks. Just buy Coke by the keg.  It’s way cheaper that way, despite the risk of diabetes and stroke.

4.  Bank fees.  Sure, mac card services are free, at your bank, way across the state line where it’s legal to charge a $50 withdrawal fee.

5.  Credit card fees.  They’re free too, except for the 30% apr and $500 annual exclusive member fee.

6.  Smut Magazines.  Some times it’s just not the same enjoying personal time with internet porn and a slightly used spank rag. (

Sure, some people will say they are interested in saving money, more so as they get older, but cash saved on one luxury item can be blown on something else just as quick, particularly if it involves purple kush with a happing ending.  But despite the advantages of tucking a few hundred quid away for a rainy day, most people will say screw it and blow the cash on good times in the here and now.  After all, you only live once, and filing for bankruptcy is so much easier nowadays.  Get a credit card, max it out, then write it off as a loss and let the Obama administration pick up the tab.  Why not?  Everyone else is doing it, and it’s totally free.



~ by the115 on 01/23/2010.

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