The Daily Habit: Culture

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9 Things to Consume Your Hard-Earned Cash- AMERICA –  If you’re a penny-pinching prick who looks to save a few pennies on outdate stuff, then 2o1o is the year for you.  The term outdated is one you know, so don’t try to tell your buddies, the very same ones who tell you to take off those damn parachute pants, that you’re into “vintage” clothes and “retro” furniture.  What you’re really saying, in not so many words, is that you’re perfectly content to spend $10 large on your comic book collection and not so much on material things that get you laid like a car, apartment and a plasma tv.  If you still don’t understand that you’re a total dork who’s still living in the past, here are 9 things you’re going to be able to buy really cheap this year because they’re all about to be extinct in the market place, well maybe not the flea marketplace, but they’ll still be worthless pieces of junk no matter what.

1.  DVDs.  Streaming video stolen from the neighbor’s bandwidth is the only way to go moneybags, though dvds are still great for coasters and fish tank art.

2.  Home landline telephones.  Yep, dial-up internet access is down to $4.95 month so you better act fast.

3.  External Hard Drives.  Put down your Commadore 64 and buy some drive space.  They’ll be lots more room for  porn on your Pentium 60 with 512k of ram and 14″ tube monitor.

4.  Knock-off iPhones.  Well, axe this one, since you don’t know what the hell an iPhone is.  Just keep carrying that bag phone eveywhere you go.

5.  Digital Cameras.  Yes, they did a way with Polaroid instamatics around the same time sea monkeys went extinct.

6.  Newspapers.  They’re all going belly-up, but you can still steal your neighbor’s every morning until it stops getting delivered.

7.  New College Textbooks.  It’s about time you sold that 3rd edition of American Basketweaving.   They stopped printing that after your sophomore year, way back in 2001.

8.  Gas Chugging Cars.  That 1978 Ram Charger with a v8 and 20 inch steel wheels is still for sale, so bust open that ceramic piggy that gram made in ceramics class and go buy a true American classic 4×4.

9.  CDs.  Don’t worry.  KC and the Sunshine Band will be forever mortal on CD, cassette, and 8 track. (http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/108504/10-things-not-to-buy-in-2010)

Ten years ago, most dudes spent hours and hours beating off to slow ass on dial-up connections to access the Internet and cool gear like iPods, plasma tvs and the Roku boxes didn’t exist, but they sure as do now and it’s easier and faster than ever to spend time with your favorite porno and spank sock.  Face it, times are a changing and sooner or later what’s new will be old, just like all of the stuff tucked away in your mom’s basement.  But don’t be discouraged.  If any of these old school products on the list still give you a boner, go out and buy ever last one you can find at garage sales and swap meats.  You’re bound to get them all for next to nothing because normal consumers living in the new era know they aren’t worth a damn thing, even on Ebay. 

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~ by the115 on 01/17/2010.

One Response to “The Daily Habit: Culture”

  1. Habits are the things which once accepted cannot be leaved as it was accepted.Don’t addict yourself to conveneience and benefit and also not make it culture too.

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