The Daily Habit: Weird News

View Image 11:59 pm

I’d Like A Cup of Coffee and Some Gauze for This Knife in My Back Please –  WARREN, MICHIGAN If you’re a picky person who just has to have things their own special way when dining out, just like moms used to make, you’ve probably sounded like a total asshole to the old broads who have taken your order.  You know all about the special sauce the cooks at the China Wok have been giving you for the past year, or do you?  It’s like you call your local favorite pizza joint and ask for a 6 cut with light sauce, no italian seasoning, extra cheese, well done, which is enough to piss that guy off before you even finish.  Or, like how you call the greasy spoon down the street and ask that the reuben be flipped over on the cold side before it’s put into the styrofoam container and how you’d like the home fries not so fried, but Butch the cook screws you too and does it anyway.  How about when you walk into a coffee shop after getting stabbed and ask for a cup of joe and some gauze for the knife stuck in your chest?

 A Detroit bum only bitched about the cold Michigan weather and an ingrown toenail after walking into a diner with a five-inch knife sticking out of his chest.   A waiter man called 911 Sunday night to ask that an ambulance be sent to Bray’s, an overpriced joint with bad service in suburban Detroit.   The homeless man said was stabbed by a crackhead during a robbery attempt, then walked to the restaurant and called 911 from a pay phone outside.  “I’m gonna run into at Bray’s and bleed all over the damn place cause they never let me panhandle out front.”   (

The waiter who called 911 was stunned because he couldn’t believe the man would come into the place after getting told to quit begging in front of the restaurant on a daily basis.  He also couldn’t believe he had the nerve to walk into the place and bleed everywhere.  But no, he got into a fight with a crackhead up the street, another guy who gets chased away every day, and got his ass whipped in the process.  He got stabbed, walked a few blocks down the street, sashayed into the place dripping blood, then calmly ordered coffee and some band aids with a side of plasma and a pit of B negative blood, hold the blade.


~ by the115 on 12/22/2009.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: