The Daily Habit: World News

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I am Hugo Chavez and I WILL Shoot Down Your Spy Planes – CARACAS, VENEZUELA – Once again that maniac in training Hugo Chavez feels neglected so he took it upon himself to tell the rest of the world about it.  Though doubltful that anybody still pays attention to Senior Hugo, he loves to be in front of the camera making threats  and cracking smiles with those big pointy teeth.  A few months back he took over the only television station in the whole country and began doing weekly variety shows that featured news, comedy, and a random execution or two.  Within the last few weeks he conducted a nation-wide p.r. campaign urging people to lose weight and get healthy or he would shoot them in their sleep.  That’s nothing. Just today he threatened to destroy all US spy planes with his x-10 modulator, if he can get the damn thing to work.

Earlier today Chavez accused the U.S. of violating Venezuelan airspace with a drone type of spy plane and ordered the Venezuelan Air Scouts to be on alert and shoot down any suspect aircraft or ufo.  Speaking during his weekly television and radio program, Hugo said the aircraft overflew a Venezuelan military base and dropped a few bombs for the hell of it, then flew back into neighboring Colombia, his most despised enemy.  He did not go into any detail, but suggested the plane was being used for espionage, then he went into a few yuk yuk jokes followed his sock puppet show.  “These are the smart ass Americans making trouble again. They are entering Venezuela illegally ,” he said.  “I’ve ordered them to be shot down though we will still deliver our processed oil as usual.” (

Chavez has repeateldy accused Colombia of allowing the United States to use its military bases as a ploy to overththrow the country.  Both the U.S. and Colombia have denied such allegations in the past, saying the U.S. military presence is for the sole purpose of protecting the United States’ secret cocaine operation which runs right through Caracas.   It’s pretty much a weekly thing for Chavez to accuse the U.S. and its allies of conspiring against Venezuela so nobody really listens to him.   Tensions between Venezuela, the US , and Colombia have been heightened for years months due to Chavez’s accusations of warmongering and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe’s dirty politics, but he’s just mad because Uribe and certain unnamed US officials have cut him out of the coke business. 


~ by the115 on 12/20/2009.

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