The Daily Habit: Health

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3 Tips for Beating Bad Breath:  Take the Hint, You Need a Mint – AMERICA –  Do you know somebody who is suffering from chronic halitosis but they just don’t seem to know their breath stinks like death?  Does the overweight guy next to your cubicle at work eat fromunda cheese and onion sandwiches for lunch every day of the week without brushing his teeth?  If so, haven’t you wanted to run over and scream “Geezus, Marty and Josephine pal, have you smelled your breath lately?” right in their fat faces?  Probably not because you’re too nice, but now’s the time for action.  Wether you  have the testicular fortitude for the job, here’s 3 simple ways to tell death breath to brush up on their hygiene, literally, or just buy them some damn mints.

1.  Eat the right foods.  If you’re going to run around the bar trying to get easy chicks to kiss you it might be a good idea to lay off the double bean burritos with the refried beans and onion chaser amigo.  Strike one and two, but your out anyway.

2.  Drink lots.  Lots of water that is, not a case of beer, 8 shots of Jaeger, and 4 car bombs with a garlic garnish, before passing out and waking up with puke breath, before the party even starts.

3.  Don’t gargle with bong water.  You smell like weed, your room smells like weed, and your breath smells like weed. Buy some breath spray, today Cheech. (

Christmas break is right around the corner, at least for college kids,  so it’s absolutely crucial that your breath doesn’t peel paint on ten-cent draft nights down at the local watering trough.  One in four people have bad breath, and you’re one of them, so stop eating disgusting food, stop drinking cheap beer that tastes like piss, and brush your goddamn teeth once in a while.  Bad breath is a losing battle for lots of guys who don’t get laid, but there is no reason to not take action. Dirty mouth that always smells like rotting flesh?  Take a hint, eat a mint, and your halitosis will go away.


~ by the115 on 12/06/2009.

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