The Daily Habit: Psychology

This Nov. 11, 2009 booking photo made available by the Hillsborough County, Fla. 11:59 pm

Hello 911?  I’d Like the Sex Phone Special with a Happy Ending  and a Tow Truck – TAMPA, FLORIDA – Do you have any wise ass friends who make it a point in their miserable day to screw with somebody?  You know guys like this oh too well.  They’re your buddies who love to make crank phone calls all over the goddamn country at all freaking hours of the night using your cell phone.  One smart ass called and ordered 40 pizzas and had them delivered to the cop who busted you for peeing in the alley behind your house.  Another fool used your phone and downloaded all kinds of porn, only you don’t have the data plan so you got hit with a $1200 bill at the end of the month.  Oh, no.  This guy has them both beat.  He called emergency services on his own phone and got too kinky for the operator’s taste, so she had his ass busted.

A known Tampa pervert was arrested last week for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex.  He told the officers he was desparate for a piece and a ride, and it was the only number he could dial because his cause broke down AND he was short on pre-paid cell phone minutes. Apparently the man called to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house to masturbate in her sock drawer. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times wanting some “Sexy talk for me, yeah baby talk sexy.  Then I want you to talk me through the happy ending.  When you’re done, could you call me a tow truck?”  (

The perp was nabbed about 15 minutes later at his home late Wednesday and charged with making a false emergency call, perversion with a communication device, and lewd sexual misconduct.  On the way to the weirdo ward he told the arresting narcs that he didn’t think he would get in trouble for trying to get laid  by the dispatcher and having her get a tow truck.  If he would have known that, he could have walked to the store to buy a spank mag, then ran home to enjoy it.


~ by the115 on 11/22/2009.

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