The Daily Habit: Psychology

View Image 11:59 pm

7 Signs You’re Totaly Fat – AMERICA-  If you’re a fat guy in your late 20s or 30s, it’s pretty much a given that you’ve been fat your whole life.  Your dad is fat, your mom is fat, and your brothers and sisters are fat.  Hell, your whole goddamn family is fat.  If this is the case you’ve probably had other fat people telling you every day of your life that you’re fat and that you need to lose a bunch of weight before you sweat yourself into a coma.  Sure, you’ve tried the pee green soup diet, the Atkins starvation program diet, Nutri-Slim, Ultra- Slim, Nutri-Ultra-Slim and even dabbled with chrystal meth, but none of them seemed to work.  If you are still asking yourself why you can’t stop gorging yourself all day long, here are 10 reasons to wise up and lose a few hundred pounds, pronto.  

1.  You eat after 7 pm- Hell you eat before 7 p.m. too, and during, and after, and in between.

2.  You eat large meals every 3 hours- Slow down on the feed bucket Dumbo.  There’s plenty for later.

3.  You don’t let yourself get hungry.  How could you?  You stuff your fat face every minute of the day.

4.  You cheat on your diet more than you exercise-  Diet, exercise?  Ha, ha, ha, ha.  That’s a good one.

5.  You don’t follow your diet 6 days a week-  You don’t follow it ever.

6.  You eat 2000 calories a day.  Damn. That’s more than a kindergarten class a snack time tubby, with no nap time.

7.  Carbs are good-  If it doesn’t taste good, it’s not worth eating, in massive quantities. (

So, if you’re a fat, lazy ass-stomach, you basically have two choices to start considering:  1. Go on a diet and live a long, healthy life or 2. Keep eating like a hippo in heat until your arteries explode.  If you want to live to see the Pittsburgh Pirates have a winnning season, or at least one where they don’t totally suck, hit the gym and start popping Ephedrine like they’re tic tacs.  If you enjoy a bucket of hot wings for breakfast a few days a week then keep on eating and packing on pounds.  What’s a little bypass surgery at 30?


~ by the115 on 11/18/2009.

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