The Daily Habit: Baseball

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Jack Wilson:  The $10 Million Joke -SEATTLE –  If you’re a die-hard baseball fan you know that sickening feeling you get when your team makes a stupid ass deal right at the beginning of the off-season.  Doesn’t really matter what story the GM or manager gives you about how great Mr. overpriced never will be is, you know goddamn well it’s just plain stupid.  Like the time the Pirates paid that crackhead Derek Bell a boatload of money, a tab they’re still paying, to hit .173 and  play only 46 games.  Or how about when the bird brains  in Baltimore paid that loser Kris Benson $9 million to have arm surgery in 2007, then he took off for Texas a year later in a goddamn hurry.  It’s the same thing in Seattle, only they were robbed of a cool $10 million for a reject from the what has become the worst team in the history of professional sports.

The Mariners, obviously desperate after another losing year, must have been experiencing a momentary lapse of reason when they signed former Pittsburgh Pirate loser Jack Wilson to $10 million contract that will end up being the biggest mistake they make for the next two seasons.  They had an $8.4 million option with a $600,000 buyout under the contract Wilson had agreed to with the Pirates before the 2006 season but that jewbag Bob Nuttings smelled a dead fish and dumped Wilson before he could embarrass the team more than he already had over the years while playing in Pittsburgh. (

The Mariners quickly picked up the contract from the Bucs when they traded for Wilson and headcase Ian Snell, for infielder Ronny Cedeno, catcher Jeff Clement and three minor league pitchers who all ended up being bigger busts than Wilson was, though that’s not saying much.  Jackoff got hurt once a week and he couldnt hit a wrecking ball with a giant redwood if his life depended on it, but now he’s gushing over the Mariners and how bad he’ll suck for them too. “I’m really, really excited to be back in Seattle. It’s such a great chance to win and compete,” Wilson said after reflecting back on his 9 losing seasons with the Pirates.  “Now that I signed that big ass contract I’ll probably get hurt in spring training, then I can spend the entire season getting paid for being on the DL.  Well, maybe not the whole season, but it will be better than playing for that Jesus freak Bob Nuttings in Pittsburgh.”  Yes, it will be better Jackass, for all of the Pirates fans out there.  They  have enough shitty players on their team, and Nuttings sure isn’t paying them $10 million to hit .231 in 31 games.  His paying them a hell of a lot less.


~ by the115 on 11/13/2009.

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