The Daily Habit: Business

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Red Alert! Don’t Buy That Piece of Junk – AMERICA – Okay.  Here’s the deal.  You  have a serious drinking, gambling and drug problem that your wife doesn’t know about, but it’s time for a new car.  Yeah, your Benzo is looking sweet in the driveway, but wifey’s whipped up Volvo is leaking all over the goddamn garage floor so it’s time to trade that hoopie in.  Once you find a dealer who’s blind and can’t see or smell that oil gushing from the motor, you snoop around a few cars you know your wife won’t like, drive a few of them around town like a bat out of hell, then you come back and hard-line that no-good lying salesman and tell him you want the 411 on the car pronto or there’s no freaking dice.  If he tries to slip you the Carfox instead of the Carfax, get up and walk the hell out.  If you’re still bent on buying that rusty Fiero that’s not supposed to rust, here’s 5 things you’re going to want to know before you buy that piece of junk.

1.  No Service Records.   They stopped making Datsun’s in the 70s.

2.  Vehicle and Accident History Issues.  It’s four different colors for a reason.

3.  Mechanical Problems.  Of course the engine has to be running to pass inspection, and those Fred Flinstone holes in the floor will need to be fixed too.

4.  Problem Title.  It won’t be a problem once all the river water dries and it’s cleaned up a bit.

5.  Fraudulent Title.  No, they don’t use titles in Tijuana.  (

Checking for all these major issues may seem to be a pain in the ass, but they can save you money and can keep you from getting arrested down the line when you go back to punch the salesman in the face a few times. If anything seems too hard to believe, or if the sales guy with greasy hair seems shady, just walk on the deal and find someone else who isn’t that much of a crook.  There’s nothing wrong with be a patient, penny pinching consumer who refuses to get robbed on a used car. Plus, with web sites like ThisCarDoesn’, you can find virtually any car, anywhere, any time, at any price.  Just remember, there are lots of fish in the pond, just beware of the fisherman with a rubber worm.  Chances are he’s a car salesman with a deal for you, and ther’s nothing better than fresh fish.


~ by the115 on 10/29/2009.

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