The Daily Habit: Weird News

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I May Be a Bear but I Like to Down Some Brews – HAYWARD, WISCONSIN – Nowadays domesicated animals, pets to some, dinner to others, are pretty much treated like they’re real people.  It’s like they’re human beings dressed up in horse suits or cow outfits, only they have the mental ability of a child.  Take dogs for instance.  They’re smart enough to troll for crumbs under the dinner table all damn day, but no matter how many times you tell them, they still poop on the living room floor.  What about monkeys?  They’re so smart they can cook up ramen noodles on the stove all by themselves and eat it with chopsticks, but they have to wear a diapter or THEY’LL be pooping on the living room floor.  What about bears?  Well, they don’t make great pets by any means,  but they sure do like to party.

Shoppers in a Wisconsin Kwiki Mart nearly  pissed their pants when a 250 pound black bear ran inside and asked for the beer aisle.   The bear seemd to know the routinne when he jumped on the automatic doors and headed straight for the liquor department.  Once it found the beer cooler he grabbed a 12 of Nattie Light then climbed up 10 feet onto a shelf in where it sat and drank the entire 12 pack one by one.   Many customers frantically vacated the store but curious ones stood around and threw handfuls of beer nuts up the bear who seemed to enjoy them just as much as the brews. (

After a while the store owner got tired of the bear freeloading his beer so he called the federales.  An hour late narcs from the Wisconsin Department of Wildlife  howed and uptranquilized the animal and took it out of the store with a portable crane, though by that time the bear was passed out cold.    Witnesses say the bear seemed content drinking the beer and didn’t cause a threat to anyone nearby.  Poor guy knew winter was on the way so he stopped in to get smashed before hibernating.  May as well have some fun though . 6 months in sleeping in a cave without a drink must suck, even for a bear. 


~ by the115 on 10/24/2009.

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