The Daily Habit: Food

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KFC: Your Order Fast or Jump the Counter and Kick  Some Ass – NORWELL, MASSACHUSETTS – Boy, the nerve of these companies who give you a warranty or promise on their products then don’t back it up, particulary since our enconomy is slowing getting flushed down the global toilet.  Take for instance those lying sons-a-bitches at Dominoes.  They promise delivery under 30 minutes or there’s no charge, but they’re always late and you sure as hell ain’t getting it free.  Same with those bastards at Burger King.  They tell you to have it your way but the minute you say no onions and tomatoes on your Whopper, you get both, and extra, extra “special” sauce.  On the other hand, Kentucky Fried Chicken is living up to it’s promise and if they don’t come through somebody’s getting their ass kicked the Colonel’s way.

After becoming irate for having to wait 10 minutes for their Kentucky Fried Chicken order, a man and his wife stomped a nosey man who stuck his nose in their business.  When arguing with a KFC employee over the late order a man who was waiting in line intervened and told the couple to keep it down and wait like everyone else.  After the confrontation the two troublemakers took their orders outside, then waited for the man who yelled at them.  As he walked out of the restaurant into the parking lot, the trouble making husbund, who was hiding behind a car,  ran up and kicked him in the nuts, then punched him several times in the face while the wife beat him repeatedly with a bucket of chicken.  The couple was arrested shortly thereafter by police who used a tazer to subdue both in front of a crowd of nearly 60 people. (

The husband has been charged with assault and battery, stalking, and retail bullying, his second offense after beating up a guy at Chili’s over beans in the nachos platter.   The wife , though not originally charged because her instrument of punishment was a bucket of chicken, was later ordered to appear in court on assault and battery charges and assault with a dead animal.  Both were fined $1500 and had to pay the victim’s medical bills.  They were also sentenced to 3 months hard labor on Colonel Sander’s chicken farm chain gang.  Rumor has it the work there isn’t exactly finger licking good, but what do you expect from a chicken farm that feeds it’s chickens enough steroids to run around for an after their heads were chopped off?


~ by the115 on 10/03/2009.

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