The Daily Habit: Education

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I Threw Some Meat at a Freshman Plieb and You Kick Me Out of School? – LEWISTON, NY –  With the onset of a new millenium a few years back, it seems like there are too many of our countries’ sacred traditions being tossed aside in order to embrace diversity.  No, there’s nothing wrong with diversity because America was founded on differences, but it’s pretty dumb trying to fix something that ain’t broken.  Back in the days, right around the end of December, people kept it real with a good old “Merry Christmas,” but the Jews and other non-Christians threw a bitch fit so now we say “Happy non-Denominational Holidays.”  We also had this tradition that when you got out of line, your old man grabbed you by your shirt and slapped some sense into you the hard way, but currently non-violent measures like time out or family therapy at $100 an hour is all the rage  Not much different in schools where you were harassed for being a lowly freshman or rookie on a sports team, but now it’s all about kicking the bullies in the junk for picking on poor, young pliebs who can’t take a joke.

A New York high school has been hammered by the media over a harmless hazing ritual that involved upper classmen throwing cooked meat at rookies on the girls’ varsity soccer team.   According to public records, 10 students on the team were suspended for a week because of a little innocent hazing that has been a tradition at the school for more than 50 years.  The stunt, which also involved putting beer, eggs and flour in three or four new players’ hair, is nothing new at the school, but some wimp’s parents made a big deal about their little girl getting a meat blast to the eye.  No one was hurt, but the school superintendent said the administration won’t accept any “Bullshit that would demean another student, including ejaculating meat juice into the eyes of one student, or giving a beer batter shampoo to another student.  If the girls on the soccer team want to haze, they can wait till they go off to college and join a sorrority.  We’ll see how they like giving it up to every guy in Delta Sigma Phi.” (

Things got so out of hand in the newspapers that the local police are investigating the origin of the beer used to make the beer batter.  All of the girs on the team claim they know no nothing of where the sixer of Schlitz came from, but evidence points to the daughter of the superintendent who claims to have stolen it from her father’s secret cooler in the garage.  It was what was left over from the weekend when her and her boyfriend went to the family cabin to consumate their love for soccer, sex and cheap beer.  Don’t be in denial dad. Every girl on the high school soccer team gets hazed, and most of them put out.  It’s tradition.


~ by the115 on 09/27/2009.

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