The Daily Habit: Psychology

Go to fullsize imageGo to fullsize image 11:59 pm

I’m An American Ninja So Don’t Feng Shui My Coke –  BRYAN, TEXAS – If you’re one of the millions of Americans who went to college, or if you went straight to the working world right after high school, chances are you probably had some asshole roommates.  It’s pretty much inevitable in a society where everyone strives to be different, though most of the time it ain’t that funny.  When you get right down to it though, it doesn’t have much to do with being different either. It really has to do with one or two guys being smartasses every minute of the goddamn day.  But, if you’re the one who’s getting screwed with, you have to be the one to fight back.  If somebody eats your last piece of mom’s homemade choclate pie, you take a nice, smelly vitamin whiz right in their laundry basket.  When your roomies come home screaming from the bar on a work night you crazy glue their door shut in the morning and blast Metalica as loud is it can go before leaving for work.  But playing ninja for an empty can of coke and some bad feng shui?  You betcha funny guys.  This will teach you to stay the hell out of this Samurai’s room.

A man who was pissed off after finding an empty Coke can in his room went nuts and allegedly used a ninja sword to attack both of his housematess. The American Ninja, whose name was withheld, was busted on Friday on a charges of aggravated assault, assaul with a deadly ninja weapon, and possesson of nunchucks with intent to mame.  A police report indicates that the ninjman  freaked out when he found an empty Coke can laying in the middle of his bedroom, thinking one of his asshole roomies picked the lock in order to get into the room. After coming home and flipping out, the guy came running into the living room waving the sword around and chased both men into a closet which he stabbed repeatedly with the sword.  Once they came out of the closet he then used his Ninjitsu skills to bash both of them repeatedly. (

One roommate has a cut under his right arm pit  and one on his forhead while the other suffered a cut in the shoulder and groin area, though he missed the kids.  Both also had black eyes and being the sensitive types each had their feelings hurt.   The moral of the story on this one is easy.  If it’s not your room and the sign clearly says “STAY THE HELL OUT THIS DOJO PATROLLED BY A NINJA MASTER” then you’ll most likely want to move on to another room in the house and go nuts with each other there. If you break in and start snooping around you might just get your ass kicked by the American Ninja who’s been living in the other room since Fall semester.




~ by the115 on 09/20/2009.

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