The Daily Habit: Politics

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Yes, You do Have the Right to Flip Off a Cop – PITTSBURGH, PA If you grew up anywhere in America, urban legends were more than just myth;  they were fact.  Not that kind of  “monster living under your bed boogie man” crap either. It was all about the real stuff like when Mikey from the Life cereal commercials died because he overdosed on a box pop rocks and a sixer of Coke.  Even better was the one about the Green Man, a.k.a No Face Charlie (a real guy by the way), from Ellwood City, PA who wandered around rural highways glowing in the dark and hitching rides to the local beer distributor.  Then there’s the one where you can pretty much tell a cop to fluck off without him doing a damn thing about it, only now this one is totally real so get those middle fingers in shape pronto.

It all happened three years ago when a normal working-class guy was driving around hunting for a parking space in Pittsburgh’s hectic Squirrel Hill neighborhood and out of luck found one, but the asshole behind him refused to back up and give some room.   The guy lost his cool, threw up the bird, then told the other guy to fluck off.  Within seconds his luck ran foul again as the asshole turned out to be a Pittsburgh city cop who threw the book at him for disorderly conduct which bans obscene gestures and language.  A few weeks later a judge agreed with the cop and imposed a $250 fine and some community service as punishment.

As comedian Charlie Murphy would say, “WRONG.”  According to the ACLU,  a 1971 Supreme Court ruling upheld the right of a young man who entered the Los Angeles County Courthouse wearing a “Fluck the Draft” patch on his jacket which means free speech directed at the constabulary forces in America is totall legal. Vic Walczak, attorney for the ACLU, explains that “The law is pretty clear that people have the constitutional right to use profanity like ‘fluck you’ or ‘fluck off,’ especially when it comes to government officials and of course asshole cops, because that is a form of political speech.  But despite that, we have police officers regularly breaking the law to punish people who offend them with shouts of ‘asshole’ or ‘pig.'” (

To further illustate the illegality of over agressive arrests for verbal abuse, a US disctrict judge ruled last March that along with the fine and court costs imposed by a city court, the arrest by the Pittsburgh nab was clearly unconstitutional.  The real question, however, is whether or cops in cities like Pittsburgh and others have been breaking the law themselves for such arrests. The ACLU says it found 188 cases in Pittsburgh alone over the past few years in where people were cited for telling a policeman what’s up, despite a chapter in the police department’s training manual where it states that using vulgar language with a lawman is not illegal.  So, the next time youns guys are down ere in the Souside and get busted for being drunk on I.C. Light, tell that freaking cop to shut the hell up or you’ll stick that Primanti Bros’ sandwhich where the sun doesn’t shine.  If that doesn’t compute just tell him to fluck off and suggest he go bust the bums panhandling in front of the Lava Lounge because telling a cop he’s an asshole has been legal in America for the past 37 years.  Amen.


~ by the115 on 09/16/2009.

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