The Daily Habit: Weird News

Go to fullsize imageGo to fullsize image 11:45 pm

Excuse Me Guard, Does This Bologna Taste Like Nuts? –  COLUMBUS, OHIO – Are you one of those rotten sons a bitches who works at a fast food joint and gets all bent out of shape when people ask for special orders?  You know the ones in question.  They want an extra large pizza with light sauce on one half, extra sauce on the other, or the cheeseburger deluxe, well done, no cheese, brown the bun, blah, blah, flucking blah.  Or, do you work in an auto parts store and take your recent break-up with your girlfriend out on a pesty customer?  You know, that guy who called 8 times for a spark plug for aToyota Tercel and you give him one for a Ford Pinto instead, then you laughed your ass off when he drives 15 minutes homes all the way home, then 15 minutes all the way back to get another one?   Nope?  Well this asshole has you beat, and that ain’t a bunch of baloney.

A former Ohio jail deputy who was arrested for allegedly of feeding a convict under his care a bologna sandwich that was rubbed against another inmate’s scrotum pled not guilty to two health code violations and indecent use of the genitals. The guard, a 38 year old man, apologized for the shame and embarrassment that he said he had caused for the nut sandwhich, but he wasn’t sorry he did it.   He was fine $500 plus court costs, and received a 90-day suspended jail sentence and five years probation, in lieu of getting sent upstate to get butt plugged for 6 months (

The  guard’s state appointed attorney called the incident a “totaly innocent prank that just went nuts.” The other deputy who delivered the sack rubbed-sandwhich was not charged with a crime, but he and the other prankster were fired for misconduct on the job.  The inmates who were involved, the ball rubber, and the ball rubbee, have both filed lawsuits against the county but it’s highly unlikely it will go to court.  Who cares about some convicts getting teabagged anyway?  The funny part of the story is that the cop killed two birds with one stone, and he got away with it.  He had one convict rub the sub on his balls, then the had the other convict eat  it.  That’s the reality of the American Justice System.  Don’t fluck up or you’ll be eating fromunda and boloney sandwiches for lunch. 


~ by the115 on 09/11/2009.

One Response to “The Daily Habit: Weird News”

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