The Daily Habit: Politics

FILE- In this  March  2, 2009 file photo, Robert Burck, a.k.a. the  9:17 pm

I’m a Naked Cowboy not the Mayor of New York- NEW YORK –  Ever since that boy chimp little Georgie Bush left office, the whole freaking political system has gone haywire. This isn’t to say that W didn’t have anything to do with the current political turmoil pervading America, because he sure as hell did.  He and the rest of his pack of jackals robbed everybody blind, then lied about it, repeatedly.  Because of his blatant stupidity and inability to put a basic sentence together, every fruitcake with some money and a stupid idea on how to run the county has decided to become a politician.  Al Franken left television behind and is finallygoing to be able to do some good for thos ice-fishing fools up in Minnesota, with a few jokes thrown in for good measure.  Former pitching machine Curt Shilling has decided to hang up his bloody sock and fight for Teddy K’s seat, even if he has no political experience.   But a nude rodeo clown who plays guitar and sings crummy country and western songs for donations in Times Square?  Nah, he said screw it and quit before the cows left for pasture.

Times Square’s own whacked-out cultural icon, the Naked Cowboy, says he’s quitting the race for New York mayor and will be back free-balling for handouts in the park real soon.  Robert Burck, the bare-assed buckaroo, is a tourist attraction known for playing his guitar in the square while wearing only tighty whitey nut cutters, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat with a purple feather.  He joined the fun in July with the slogan, “Nobody has done more with less, and nobody has balls this big.”  The slogan has become an overnight sensation as it appears on campaign posters of the cowboy pointing to the two coconuts he has jammed in his underpants.  He also penned two catching jingles, “I can do Better Naked than Bloomberg can Wearing Pants” and “If You’re Balls aren’t this Big then You Shouldn’t be Mayor of Cowboy Town;” both hits on city radio stations (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090905/ap_on_re_us/us_naked_cowboy;_ylt=ApNaHIiL7SUfB_Hxae4dgDZvzwcF;_ylu=X3oDMTJndjVoM2I3BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwOTA1L3VzX25ha2VkX2Nvd2JveQRjcG9zAzEEcG9zAzIEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDbmFrZWRjb3dib3lk).

But, now he says he’s had enough of the bullshit that accompanies a political campain.  He explained that the last straw came when the city’s Conflicts of Interest Board fined him $250 for failing to file a required financial disclosure form before campainging, and another $250 for publicly smuggling berries in his pants.  Burck says the only way to be taken seriously is to appear in a suit and tie and he isn’t having any of that city slicker nonsense.  The poor guy hasn’t on had a pair of pants in 5 years and doesn’t plan on doing so in the near future.  He feels if you don’t like to look at his package in Times Square, you probably won’t want to see it in City Hall either.

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~ by the115 on 09/05/2009.

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