The Daily Habit: Weird News

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I Had My First Date With a Hot Chick Then I Stole Her Ride- DETROIT –  Geezus tapdancing KrissKross.  Is there a limit to what a desparate guy will do on the first date?  Suckering her into going out into public is first on the list, then comes a wide variety of sneaky tricks to get her back to a quiet place for some real fun.  Picking her up in a limosine and presenting her with flowers is one that sounds good at first, but it usually ends up with a door slamming and a quiet ride home, alone, up front with the driver.  Of course there’s the ever-popular mariachi band and bath-tub sized margaritas at the local Mexican dive, but that doesn’t work very well either, particulary with a passed out date who puked all over herself after the entreee, and the 7 or 8 stops for a diarhea break at the Circle K.  Of course, if you’re really cool, you could totally lie about your name to an ugly girl you met at a party, then commit a felony because hey, paybacks are a real bitch when you aren’t a good looking woman.

Police in Michigan say a first date between two strangers went totally astray when a Detroit player ran out on a restaurant bill, then stole his date’s car a few minutes later and took it to a chop shop.  Document state that the man had dinner with a woman he never met  at a rib joint Ferndale.  The woman says the two met a during a costume party a week earlier at a Detroit casino and aside from not knowing what he looked like, she knew him only as “Kris”  a.k.a. “KrissKross” or “Double K.”    The woman also told police that once her date got a look at her he said he left his wallet in her car and asked for keys.  After she gave them to him he drove through the parking lot in her black Nissan Sentra sitting on 18s and headed right off to sell it in east Detroit.  “I didn’t really think anything was wrong with my date at first, but I started thinking something was up after I gave him my keys because he wasn’t even with me, in my car. before the damn date so how the hell could he have left his wallet in there?”  (

Later the next day police identified the man as being one of the dumbest criminals they ever met.  Foolishly enough he was easily identified by a naked picture he sent of himself to the woman’s cell phone, and his unblocked phone number that was all found over the woman’s phone.  He expected to be charged with unlawfull ownership of a vehicle, theft by deception, and all out stupidity for not blocking his phone number and sending a nude picture of himself to an ugly woman who hasn’t been laid in three years. He waived a preliminary hearing and was bound over for trial last week, but it’s pretty obvious he’s going to get a nickle in state prison.  Too bad the homely girl just didn’t cut her losses the moment that her man stole her ride.  She could have said someone took it, got a new car and a face lift with her insurance money. 


~ by the115 on 09/01/2009.

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