The Daily Habit: Weird News

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Ma?  Can You Come Pick Me Up?  I Got A DUI. Psych-   SALT LAKE CITYIf you were a lousy son growing up chances are you did some stupid shit to piss your parents off.  You know what stupid shit means too.  It’s the kind of things that gets you arrested and after you’re cavity searched and finger printed you have to call mom and dad to come bail your pathetic ass out.  There was that one time you and the rest of the tools on the swim team got caught peeping in the girl’s shower during swim practice then you all had to go door to door telling the neighbors you were a registered perverts.  There was also that time you and your buddies pulled the burning poop in a bag gag on the old bitch up the street but it didn’t turn out so good after you guys burnt her porch to the ground.  Then there was that other time when you got busted for driving drunk, only you weren’t driving, and you weren’t drunk.

In Utah, home of Josehp Smith and his band of maniacal Mormons, even if you don’t get nabbed for drunk driving you might still have to man up and call your parents from jail.  Well, kind of.  The Utha Highway Narcs, in conjunctionwith some local drinking clubs, this that letting people practice the call they don’t want to make home, from the local lockdown, will help cut out the illegal drinking and driving going on all over town.  It probably won’t because all Mormon teens want to go out and get loaded with other defiant Mormon teens, but it’s worth a long shot.

A phone number from a fake jail has been set up to give screw ups an idea of what would feel like to make such a call home to a parent or guardian. After dialing 1-8oo-ifc-kdup, the caller is given the option to talk to a pissed off mother or a super pissed off father, among others, the like the perverted uncle who’s yelling “ground the little bastard” in the background even though he’s the one who bought you the booze and told you take his camaro for a ride after you drank like a frat boy at a kegger.  A prerecorded yelling match between real pissed off parents and real screw up kids then plays one end of what the conversation might sound like, with the caller sitting there laughing because he thinks it’s his parents bithing out his older brother you got caught with a case a beer and a small amount of marijuana (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090829/ap_on_fe_st/us_practice_dui_calls;_ylt=AvosAxeWtauQdZyEzWbPkGbtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJtZm43YWtmBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwODI5L3VzX3ByYWN0aWNlX2R1aV9jYWxscwRjcG9zAzEEcG9zAzEEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDdXRhaG5zY2Fubm93).

Slogans associated with the campaign include “Getting a DUI is easy with a case of beer and  some casual drunk driving, calling your mom from jail is a real bitch if you’re still living in her basement,” or “Sneaking out your parents car and robbing their licquor cabinet is awesome, until you call and leave them a message that their car can be picked up at the state police barracks where you’re being held in the drunk tank.”  To date there has been a 15% increase in teen DUIs and a 25% increase in underage drinking because with 8 mothers, it’s hard to figure out who’s who when serving a warrant.

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~ by the115 on 08/29/2009.

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