The Daily Habit: Comics

In this photo taken Friday, Aug. 7, 2009 the No. 1 issue of the Archie comic 11:59 pm

That Jughead Archie Proposed to Veronica So I’m Selling Out-  If you’re 40 years old and still wearing Incredible Hulk Underoos to bed, chances are you’re a comic book fanatic who’s in dire need of therapy.  Sure, everybody has some weird little kink about them, but that’s what makes us unique.  Some dudes collect cars or motorcycles, others baseball cards or handguns.  But the whole comic book thing seems a bit ridiculous if you’re a grown man.  First it’s driving all over the freakin country for comic book shows, then it’s waiting in line for a month outside the local theater just to get first dibs on the new Scooby Doo movie.  But selling off one of the rarest pieces of comic memorabilia because some tool picked the rich slutty bitch to marry istead of the blonde virgin next store?

When a comic book store owner got wind that after 67 years the Richie Cunningham of the comic book work, Archie, was proposing to “do it on the first date” rich girl Veronica, instead of  super sexy Betty, he decided to protest  his anger by selling his copy of the series’ rare first issue.   Luebkes’ Archie Cominc No. 1 sold for $39k  at auction earlier today.  An auction underling said the buyer was a longtime Archie reader and collector from Virginia who was super pissed about the news.  In a statement the anonymous seller expressed his anger but said 99 percent of his customers agree that perky boobed Betty is the clear choice over deep throat Veronica in the seemingly never-ending love triangle that never goes beyond a chocolate malt and some heavy petting in Jugheads’ van.  “Betty is it. Not Veronica,”  said the seller.  “This is serious. Sure, Betty may not be putting out right now, but she would have sooner or later.  What the hell does that jughead Archie want with Veronica anyway? The whole gang banged her at one time or another, except Archie of course.  He still doesn’t know he proposed to sex-starved nympho with a coke problem and credit card debt up the wazoo” (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090814/ap_on_en_ot/us_archie_comic_protest).

The Archie Comics Web site depicts Archie bending done on one knee proposing to that bitch Veronica on the cover of No. 600.  That begins a six-issue story that flashes forwardo the future after the characters graduate from college.  The next isuse features Veronica proclaiming “I do!” and Archie saying “Do I ever, get to hit that before the honeymoon?” In the next few issues after they have 5 kids, Archie stays out at the strip clubs drinking all night, Veronica gets hooked on valiums, then they get divorced and Archie crawls back to Betty while Veronica gives up the kids to persue a career in soft porn.  The End.

 

 

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~ by the115 on 08/14/2009.

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