The Daily Habit: Weird News

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I Beat Up A Bank Robber With His Own Nunchucks and You Fire Me for Breaking the Rules?-  Seattle –  Just what in the hell is this world coming to?  It’s like we go through the worst financial crisis in US hsitory and everybody is panicking.  Two of the “Big Three” auto makers are in debt up to their eyeballs so in order to keep their pockets fat they cut thousands of jobs, took away benefits from retirees and the shut down dealerships all over town.  Same thing with steel companies.  They, too, axed  low-level jobs, did away with 4 hour naps on midnight turn and put an end to company sponsored softball teams in the local beer leagues.  Those bastards in the banking business weren’t much better as they blew bailout money on booze and hoookers in Vegas, gave away failure bonuses worth millions of tax dollars to company losers and they fired some poor schmuch for playing hero on the job up in Seattle.

A Seattle bank teller was canned from the job because he chased down a stick-up guy and kicked hiss ass around the parking lot until the oinks showed up . Jim Nicholson, 30, who worked for more than two years at a Key Bank , says he understands the bank’s strict policy that employees comply with robbery demands and avoid confrontations, but he thinks it’s a pussy bullshit rule.  He said that instinct took over when a little punk wearing black came in swirling around some nunchucks, threw a bag across the bank counter and demanded all the cash.  Nicholson laughed, threw the bag on the ground,  grabbed the guy by his shirt and punched him in the face a few good times.  The man scrambled for the door and ran out in the parking lot with Nicholson close behind.   Within seconds he caugth up with the thug, beat him senseleess with his own nunchucks then held put him in a figure-4 leglock until the nabs arrived.

Two days later, Nicholson was fired for breaking bank policy which states employees can’t beat up a customer under any circumstances.  In any such situation law enforcement discourage any heroic actions that could lead to an unnecessary killing.  Tellers are supposed to be trained to get thieves out the door quickly and hand over money that’s federally insured, but Nicholson wasn’t having that sissy shit.   “When confronted by a violent criminal, even one who’s carrying two sticks on a chain, it is best to submit unless they feel their personal safety is in jeopardy. It is possible that taking action and confronting the criminal may lead to the injury of the victim or other bystanders who should have just stayed face down on the ground instead of freaking out and running around.  Yes, you do want tellers to be proactive, but you want them to do it safely,” said FBI Special Agent Fred Gutt.  “The easiest way is to just shoot them in the leg or back if you’re packing heat.  Chasing them down and beating them with numchucks is just plain stupid, even though it’s pretty funny when you watch it over and over on the serveilance tape”  (

The bruised up bandit,  a 29-year-old homless bum, has a long rap sheet filled with convictions for theft, robbery and possession of a ninja sword and Chinese throwing stars.   Charges in the attempted robbery were not immediately filed because everyone at the D.A.’s office is still laughing about it.  The bankers are a bunch of assholes for firing Nichols and not much can be done about it, but the homeles guy won’t be practicing  judo at the local dojo any time soon. 


~ by the115 on 08/02/2009.

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