The Daily Habit: World News

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Putin and the Whale- KHABAROVSK, Russia-  It sure must be nice being a ruthless dictator turned media darling, and Bad Vlad Putin is no exception.  After walking all over Medvedev and naming himself Prime Minister for life last year, Putin’s shying away from KGB hit squads and holding public utilities like gas and water ransom for the highest bidder.  The judo assassin and all around asshole image has been replaced by the “nice guy who goes out of his way to save humanity” persona.  He’s  well-dressed, politically corrupt,  and still orders a pipe boming or two behind closed doors, but the people can’t get enough of him.  He’s a new type of dictator who’s finally seen the light, or has he?

During a trip to Russia‘s Far East, Putin waded into the Pacific Ocean and attached a satellite tracking tag to a Beluga whale as part of a study on migration patterns.  Putin was gushing for the cameras and in a warm moment said, “She won’t eat us will she? Ha, ha, ha.  Really, it’s of no concern though.  I have a loaded Ruger in my sock.”   A split second later he patted the whale on the ass,  shot his gun in the air three times, and stabbed the homing device into the whale (which had to be under heavy sedation or it would have freaked and killed half of the media with one swipe of it’s tale) (

Last year Putin was deamed God by the Russian media for saving a television crew from an attacking Siberian tiger  by shooting it with a tranquilizer gun he just happened to have on him.  Putin’s from the old school and killed his way to the top.  A KGB spy turned politician helped cultivate a hard-line playboy image during his eight years as president before stepping down last year to take over the country for life.  With this in mind, don’t kid yourself with the turn of heart.  He didn’t show up to tag the whale on Chkalov Island, some 700 miles in the middle nowhere.   He attended the launch of a new natural gas pipeline which he privately owns and operates at the government’s expense.  When rumors surfaced he couldn’t be found for comment.  His spokesperson said he was out on a boat hunting the whale with a tracking device.


~ by the115 on 08/01/2009.

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