The Daily Habit: Business

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How to Dress for Succsex on the Job-  Ladies, are you having a hard time getting a fair shake at work ?  Do you do ten times as much work as everybody else on the job but you don’t even get a cheap feel from the office perv?  Has your boss walked right by you every morning for the past five years and dropped his coffeee cup in your lap without a second look?  If so, you’re probably a style-less schelp, you’re as plane as pale white toast, or maybe both.  If you want to get the respect you deserve and lift yourself out of a lifetime of minimum wage classification, here’ s a few tips on how to dress like a slut for sex, no success, on the job.

1.  Show lots of cleavage-  Pad if you got them and wear sweaters that are 3 sizes too small. If you don’t you’ll be the office pencil sharpener till social security kicks in.

2.  Buy some revealing  skirts- The shorter the better, or Secretary Day will be the lonliest day of the year, other than Xmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, your birthday and Valentine’s day.

3.  Wear something see-through-  Peek-a-boo halter tops are great, but those bullet proof bras and cowhide sweaters won’t get you a goodbye at the end of the day.

4.  Accessorize everything- Fake jewelry with matching purse, bracelet and make-up will give everyone the idea you’re a cheap, easy date who will do anything for a bus pass and a styrofoam cup full of pencils.

5.  3 Words: beach, blanket, bonanza-  Tube tops, bikinis bottoms and baby oil should be worn on Fridays, and Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.  Showing up for the schmucks who work on Satrudays don’t hurt your chances of being respected either.

So ladies, if you’re guilty of commiting fashion faux pas without realizing it, go out and buy some slutty clothes and show a little skin or you’re never going to smell a promotion.  Dressing for success means seriou business, along with a little pleasure for the man who makes serious decisions. If you can dress like a tramp but still do an awesome job making photocopies, you’ll be running the show in no time.  The only thing you have to do is screw the boss and blackmail him until he gets hooked on methamphetamines and Jack Daniels.  Then you can tell some underling to figure out why it says there’s a paper jam when there is no paper jam (


~ by the115 on 07/27/2009.

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