The Daily Habit: Sports

 1   11:59 pm

Five Reasons to Enjoy A Shaving Cream Pie Shoved in Your Face-   Geezus, looks like the morons who run Major League Baseball can’t get anything right.  The blame could be placed on Bud Selig, because he was a real prick, but it’s no use pointing fingers, unless you’re a player whose been shooting up copius amounts of juice right on the bench.  First, they showed their fragile backbones when they buckled for high-priced strike out artists who demanded a hefty sum for chopping wood in the batter’s box every night.  Second, they let holy-rolling cheap skates like Bob Nuttings ruin Pittsburgh’s favorite baseball club by constantly trading everybody and anybody worthwhile  for nobodies in particular.  Last, they’re rotten SOBs when it comes time to pay for the MLB Extra innings package on satellite tv. Once you do buy it, they keep blacking out games until the ante is upped.  That’s nothing.  Those miserable mothers running the show want to outlaw silly pranks that never seem to get old, until somebody loses an eye.

Fellow red-eyed Americans, here are five reasons to keep shaving cream pies alive and well in baseball:

1. It’s never been proven dangerous:  Nobody really ever did a study on whether or not a pie pan full of mentholly fresh shaving cream jammed into the eye by a bunch of roid heads causes any damage.

2. It doesn’t burn your eyes:  Aside from the day your old man taught you how to shave, you’ve never had shaving cream burn anything.  If he says it doesn’t burn, it doesn’t burn. If it does burn, he’ll punch you in the face and call you a pussy until you agree that it doesn’t burn.

3. It’s never become cliché: That’s why 42 year old ball players who make millions of dollars for walking 6  batters an inning do it every chance they get

4. It’s preventing TV people from doing their jobs: Screw them all.  What do those clowns do at work anyway? 

5. It will never be time to give other tactics a shot:  Sure, grounders to the nads and a foul tip that chips a tooth is funny, but not in the same league as the star of the team getting a shaving cream pie to face on tv after he hits a towering homer (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Five-reasons-that-MLB-should-ban-the-shaving-cre;_ylt=Avox.Oa3l4LhhzpVO9iKfcU5nYcB?urn=mlb,173515).

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~ by the115 on 06/29/2009.

One Response to “The Daily Habit: Sports”

  1. Pie in the face is cool. Check out the Three Stoogies Bobby Gee Great wit.. Check out my blog http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

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