The Daily Habit: Travel

Ester-Ethy Mamane, left,  and her mother Claudie Mamane speak to reporters8:15 pm

Bon Jour Mon Amis.  Welcome to America. Do You Need an Unlicensed Taxi Van-  If you’re a well-seasoned globe trotter, you know that lots of weird shit can happen abroad. It’s like the things you see on the news or in movies is real, only it can happen to you on any occasion, in any place.  In Thailand the local prostitutes can love you long time for less t han $5, until you figure out she is a he with a much bigger package than you.  In Jamaice you can get a garbage bag full of sticky weed from the maintenance guy at your hotel who trades you for a Girls Gone Wild video and some Right Guard.  Coincidentally, he’s best friends with the guy at the airport who busts you for taping the smoke to your nads, then he gives it back to that asshole who sold it to you in the first place.  It’s even worse in New York City where soliciting an illegal Jitney service can get you a broken arm and a bag full of cheap tourist trinkets from the Mayor.

Five French tourists got an eye full on their first and last visit to New York City: a wild police chase and some broken bones.   While waiting for a ride at JFK on Tuesday morning, the Frenchies were lured to a van operated by a Jitney, and unlicensed cabbie trying to make a buck. Airport narcs I.D.ed the  perp as Ian McFarland, a repeat offender previously arrested for running an illegal cab service.   When a transit cop tried to stop the van McFarland sped away with the tourists still inside, but two were thrown, one of whom had her arm broken when she was run over by the van.   After a 7 mile chase and a crash for a spectacular ending, Transit authorities closed down the scene, without putting down their donuts or coffee.

Minutes late the Mayor showed up to apolgize for the screw up.  The ladies were bribed w ith New York City goodies, including tickets to a Broadway show, passes to the Museum of Modern Art, transit fare cards and a bunch of other junk from the Transit Authority Giftshop. “I was scared,” Parisan Esther-Ethy Mamanne saide after the crash.  “We are happy to be here; we love New York and zee New Yorkers, but zee imbecile who kinnapped us must be taken to zee guilotine and beheaded for such treatment.  We also though zee souvenirs given to us by zee mayor were cheap and of poor quality.  We would like zee Statue de Liberte instead, and of course zee recipe for French Fries and ketchup”  (

Yes, you tell them about it toots.   Nothing like showing up in a foreign country with 4 old ladies who can’t walk and none of you speak the language.  Then when some other poor foreign schmuck (who’s trying to make a living) asks you for a ride you lose your mind and call the cops.  In the process of freaking out you piss off the driver, he makes a run for it, then you break your arm after you get tossed out the van.  To further complicate the matter you bitch about getting some $500 theater tickets and freebies to the MOMA, though you were right about the other stuff being cheap junk.  In any language, sounds like you should have vacationed somewhere else, like Canada.



~ by the115 on 06/26/2009.

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