The Daily Habit: Weird News

 5:54 pm

Hey, What Do You Say, Let’s All Celebrate Nude Hiking Day-  As we evolove into a more tolerant society, our values for celebrating major holidyas are becoming more liberal.  On Administrative Assistant day the whole office bucks up for a keg, the favorite secretary is presentend with a boquet of flowers and a gift certificate to Applebee’s, then everybody blows off their work and gets loaded all day.  For Earth Day everyone is kindly encouraged to go green and praise Mother Earth, but don’t forget the Rastafarians who pay homage to I and I at 4:20 on the same day.  Yeah, these two holidays are really cool, but not as sweet as the one hippies all over the country are celebrting today.  They’re going to hit the great outdoors and enjoy themselves in a whole new way.

Every year on the first day of summer, a few tree-hugging fanatics expose themselves in a good way to insects, scrapes and thorns for the pleasure of hanging freely, literally, with Mamma Earth.   They call it Naked Hiking Day and it pisses off lots of right-winging Conseratives.  Park Narcs and county mounties warn that people caught outdoors in the nude could be charged with indecent exposure, public nudity, or both. Managers of the Appalachian Trail, where lots of Granola Babies are known to lurk, also discourage any funny stuff. “It’s just plaing disgusting,” said  a spokesman for the Appalachian Trail Conservancy in Harpers Ferry, W.Va. “People are out there hiking with their kids and and there are lots of boy and girl scouts around about now, so those stinky hippies have no business free-balling all over the damn place.  Take a shower, shave those beards and hairy crotches and take a freakin bath will you?  Jerry died a while back so you can all go home”  (

Other law enforcement officials from remote areas say they rarely deal with hippie hikers causing  commotion,  let alone nude ones, even on Naked Hiking Day, and that they don’t consider it a big problem.  Same goes with busting underage campers for drinking or growers for harvesting their wares.  Most park rangers are burners from way back and they like to do some wild mushroom hunting in the buff now and again themselves.  So, if you are going to indulge in some outdoor naked co-ed activities, let it all hang out, at least today.  Happy Nude Hiking Day America. 



~ by the115 on 06/21/2009.

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