The Daily Habit: Psychology

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Nothing Like Pigging Out on the First Date- By some chance are you one of those shy dudes who hasn’t been laid since that one time at band camp?  When you do luck out and con a chick into going out on a date, do you do something totally stupid to blow it, then ask yourself over and over again just what it was that pissed her off?  Could it have been those 12 beers you slugged down before the appetizer was served?  Maybe it was those scoops of coke you were doing in the restroom every 15 minutes.  Nope, neither amigo.  It was that giant  plate of jalepeno quesadillas with extra onions and hot sauce stupid.  Here’s a list of foods you need to stay away from on a date, or you’re going to be playing the skin flute solo in El Sedundo.

 1. Spaghetti-  More like confetti because sauce gets tossed all over the freaking place.   Wear a bib, pig.

2.  Onions- Onions, funions, doesn’t matter.  Brush your teeth and drink some lavoris, Boris, cause they both stink.

3. Fire Alarm Chili- Yes, everybody in the bar smelled that fart.  They heard it too.  Great choice.

4. Stinky Cheese- Fromunda, cheese, breath.  Enough said.

5. BBQ Ribsnothing like going home alone with a chipped tooth from a rib bone.

6. Tacos- Though tasty, Montezuma will get his revenge for the rest of the evening, and most of the next day.

7. Spinach salad- Though it’s tasty with grilled chicken and feta cheese, it’s just plain gay.

8. Garlic Breath- Everybody smelled that burp, too (http://food.yahoo.com/blog/foxyfestivities/21487/worst-foods-to-eat-on-a-date).

So, lads, remember that dating is a fickle affair and that even on the first date the most inconspicuous details can turn her off faster than the speed of light.  If you find yourself wondering why you never heard back from your last date , maybe it really was something stupid  you ate.  Wise up and the next time you con some random broad to go out with you, take the fairy way out and order the small dinner salad. If you do you’ll be gourmet pizza and champagne in the jacuzzi with your date by the end of the evening.  If your order the “bigger than your head” burrito and chase it down with a case of Tijuana Light you’re going to be waking up naked next to a sombrero full of puke.

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~ by the115 on 06/04/2009.

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