The Daily Habit: Television

Go to fullsize imageSusan Boyle is a victim     and YOU E to blame 11:39: pm

Boo Hoo Susan Boyle is Number Two- You know how some of those ex “American Idol” or “Dancing With the Stars” winners have gone on and made it big?  That Daultry dude and his band of side-burned queers had a hit song or two and they actually kind of rocked.  Rueben what’s his face, the fat black guy that looked like Tommy from the show “Martin,” even cut a few cds that somebody bought out of a trunk of a car.  You can also throw in Clay I’m not Gay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson and the rest of the crew to show just how hard work can pay off if you do the right people.  But, there are the other winners out there who go on to similar international shows and totally suck.  Guess what?  Susan Boyle is one of them.  Boo hoo she’s number two.

Susan Boyle may have been beaten by a group of street dancers who jumped, kicked and shook their way to victory against her on “Britains Ain’t Go Talent” but her musical career has barely begun.  The 48-year-old church freak with the show-stopping voice and tumbleweed hair told broadcaster ITV she hoped to cut an albumwith anybody who wanted to get down and boogie. The past week had been really shitty for Boyle. She totally freaked out during a confrontation with two reporters, and the police got involved.  Another contest judge said Boyle thougth about just walking of the program to soothe her frazzled nerves, and to get a bit of spotted dick on the buffet table.  She just loves that spotted dick. 

On the night of the contest, which was probably rigged, she appeared on stage composed, in a glamorous but rather fat floor-length dress and gave a polished performance, but it was not enough to keep her from losing on national tv to a gay dancegroup.  Millions voted by telephone after Saturday’s live show, which Boyle had long been expected to win. “She lost because people didn’t bother voting for her because they thought she was going to win it so they said piss on wasting cell phone minutes,” lamented 21-year-old Gordon Mackenzie. “I didn’t vote for her because I thought everyone else would.  I voted for the tumbling midgets.  They were wicked little bastards with small bodies and big heads but they sure could jump around quite a bit” (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090531/ap_en_mu/eu_britain_boyle;_ylt=AsSrYbJ3FkS45lUHXxFMa2BxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTJoZzFoZ25zBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwNTMxL2V1X2JyaXRhaW5fYm95bGUEY3BvcwMxBHBvcwMyBHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcnkEc2xrA2RyZWFtb3ZlcmJveQ).

For the finals, she returned to that boring ass song that made her a YouTube sensation, “I Dreamed a Dream” from the musical “Les Miserables.”  Boyle’s entree into the limelight has become reality-show history, after being viewed millions of times — the fifth-most watched clip ever on YouTube.  But despite her popularity, she was beaten in the finals by the street dance group “Diversity,” which mesmerized audiences with a ridiculously gay but perfectly choreographed dance routine . Judge Simon Cowell said their performance had been “utter perfection for a bunch of fairies running around in powder blue tights and ballet shoes.”

Simon said it right.  Susan Boyle sucked worse than a group of gayblades prancing around stage doing fake break dances moves like the robot with each other.  Everyone else sucked just as much, or worse, so the judges flipped a coin, best of three.  Sadly enough there could be only one winner and one loser and guess who that was?  Boo Hoo Susan Boyle is number two.  Take that to church and sing it in the  choir.

 

 

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~ by the115 on 06/02/2009.

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