The Daily Habit: Weird News

Go to fullsize image Go to fullsize image10:58 pm

I Won $200 Million on the Lotto Last  Year But Now I’m Dead Broke-  With times being so down right lousy, every loser in America is hoping to win it big on the lottery, or some other foolish way of throwing money out the window on a billion to one long shot.  The hard-on-her luck bartender at the Legion with the Iron Maiden tattoo and huge rack rushes over to the Circle K with her  numbers in one hand and a menthol 120 in the  other, she holds up the line for 20 friggin minutes because Jugdhish can’t type that fast, then she runs off to work.  In between cheap feels by the regulars she tells everybody at the bar that she’s going to quit her goddamn job and buy a red camaro if she wins.  After a few dozen cigarettes and warm beers she cleans up, goes home and passes out, then a few months later she finds out that she actually won the money.  The rest is happily ever after, unless she’s like the other jinxes who win the lottery and end up dead broke a year later.

The lucky winner of $232 million hasn’t come forward yet but it’s been reported that somebody from a town called South Dakota  has a ticket worth $232 million.   News that there is a flimsy piece of paper worth close to a quarter of a billion bucks inspired a mad rush to the internet to find out who won, but all they found were a bunch of people who had shitty luck.  A couple won $25 million and saw their marriage crumble a few months later. In 2002, some guy won like $20 million but  he had a streak of bad luck and lost two loved one, including his favorte dog, and his wife who took half and left him right after he wrote the check (

So, if you are lucky enough to hit it large on the lotto, don’t be stupid with your pool full of loot.  Be wise and collect your earnings quietly, or at least get paid without the whole friggin world knowing your loaded. Spend some, give some away, and bury the rest up in the hills.  If you do it nice and easy you’ll be swimming in that lake of money for a long, long time.   But if you act a fool and start buying crank and rust el caminos  by the tanker load you’re going to end up toothless, homeless, and dead broke within a year, but at least you’ll have some junky old muscle cars to remind you of your winnings.  Who says you can’t win big on your lucky numbers?


~ by the115 on 05/30/2009.

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