The Daily Habit: Mixed Martial Arts

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Bobby Lashley Kicked My Ass in Only 24 Seconds- Have you noticed how mixed martial arts has caught on in America lately?  It’s really cool new thing because you get the action and story lines of pro wrestling, only it’s real, and a punch in the face or a  kick to the groin looks like it sucks from any angle.  The downside of this fan-crazed sport is that it’s turning every tough guy into a wannabe karate fighter, and every dork thinks he can compete.  You know this dude well.  He’s the toothpick walking around the gym with a TapOut t-shirt that’s 6 sizes too big and bangs his shaved little head to a cheap ass iPod strapped to his scrawny arm.  He struggles during curls with 5 pound weights, he doesn’t have the strength to turn on the tread mill and he couldn’t take a gay man-slap to his face if his life depended on it.  So, you know the guy too?  Yes, you do, and MMA star Bobby Lashely just kicked his ass in 24 seconds.

You must be crazy to ball-bust a huge, crazy man like Bobby Lashley, then make fun his pro wrestling background.  The former WWE star said he was incensed by the fact that his opponent Mike Cook came to the cage in a lucha libre mask just like Mexican Wresting icon el Nacho Libre.   Lashley is generally a polite guy and a good sport, but he made no attempt to touch gloves with his trembling opponent Mike Cook.   He charged Cook the second the bell rang  but no luck on the first punched as he missed with a huge right.  Cook made the mistake of dropping his head only to find a vice-like choke holding waiting for him.  After that, it took only a few seconds of no air for him to tap out like a little bitch. “I’m here for business and all the funny little guys wants to try and make fun of the wrestling thing, but that shit is fake.  If they want to play games in the ring with me, I’ll knock them out or choke there ass out for real. And that’s what I did to that punk.   Now he can go put that fake mask back on and be funny all day with a crushed windpipe” (,163814).

Lashley, making the jump from Vince McMahon’s side show of fakes and cheats, started training mixed martial arts last year. He won his first fight in 41 seconds by knock out, then the made his second opponent quit the match after one punch.  That has to tell you two things:  1.  None of the dorks who got in the ring were ready for this guy, just like the tool belts at your gym and 2. Bobby Lashley will wip your freakin ass in 24 seconds if you make fun of him.  Face it tough guy, you aren’t ready to hit the weights in the gym, and you’re definitely ready to get choked out or kicked in gut.  You’re best bet is to stick to the WWE and hope it doesn’t getting any more fake. If it does, you’re in like Flynn.


~ by the115 on 05/18/2009.

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