The Daily Habit: Music

The New Kids on the Block, from left, Danny Wood, Joey McIntyre, Donnie 7:35 pm

Sailing Tough with N.K.O.T.B- Every see the “Where are They Now” show on VH1 where that goofy jew with the afro and annoying voice tracks down ex-MTV stars and tries to bribe them for a reunion show?  Its’ like trying to find all of the people from the past who owe you money…. you find a few to cooperate, but the others tell you to fluck off.  There’s the guy with the bird’s nest hair from Spandau Ballet, oh what the hell’s his name,  whose flipping pancakes in a German brothel for tips and freebies.  Then of course there is Steven Adler from Guns N Roses who’s sitting around his Beverly Hills mansion popping oxy’s and puking on himself all day.  But, whatever happen to those tool bags from New Kiddies on the Block?  Just where the hell are they now?  Well, they’re playing Loveboat  with former obsesses fans who are paying big bucks to be up close and personal. Maybe a little too up close and personal.

The little girls who made the N.K.O.T.B. a boy band sensation in the late 1980s are all grown up, and now they’ve got disposable income from their ex husbands.   About 2,100 overly obsessed women, most in their 40s and 50s, paid more than $1,000 a head for three-day Carnival Cruise Lines trip to the Bahamas with their favorite boy toys.  The voyage kicks off the band’s summer concert tour when they’ll stumble through  “Hangin’ Tough” and “Step by Step” along with songs from their 2008 album that nobody bought, or downloaded for free.

Fans squealed and giggled as they boarded the boat, angling for a glimpse of the New Kids. Some wore buttons and T-shirts with their favorite band members’ pictures. Others kissed cardboard cutouts or stapled group photos to their saggy boobs.  Horny female fanatics love concert cruises because they’re “a more intimate experience than you would have in a typical stadium or concert venue,” said Cherie Weinstein, Carnival’s vice president for business development.  “You buy the boys some drinks, slip them a few roofies, then the camcorders start recording.  By the end of the cruise lots of hush money exchanges hands then everybody goes homes and tries to forget about it, until it shows up on the internet.  Then the real money starts flowing” (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090515/ap_en_ot/us_new_kids_cruise;_ylt=AhhBe1tiO5KJDMyda8pYZRBxFb8C).

So, if you’re a middle-aged woman with an adjusted monthly income and you can go a few days without tossing your cookies on a cruise ship, pick up that phone and call right now.  If you’re lucky enough you might be able to have first dibs on one of your favorite stars who’s lost their good looks and all of their money.  With some cheap wine and a pack of smokes you can have your life-long groupie fantasies come true, but only if you can sail tough with the boys from N.K.O.T.B.

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~ by the115 on 05/16/2009.

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