The Daily Habit: Weird News

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Guess What You Can do With Ketchup?- Unless you’re from a third world country, or France, you have a pretty good idea what you can do with ketchup.  It’s a delicious condiment for tasty meats like hotdogs, hamburgers, sausages and steak.  You can put it on Kraft macaroni and cheese to make it a little more interesting.  Hell, you can even add it to barqueque sauce or fried bologna sandwiches is you like.  But, did you know that our dear friend-for-life is also used for some pretty gross things that would make you barf up every one of the aforementioned goodies?  If not, guess what else you can do with ketchup?

1.  Shine your copper.  Get out your pennies jewbags and shine those suckers up.  For a few hundred you could just buy some copper polish.

2.  Get those auto parts gleaming.  This stuff will take every bit of rust off of your 1974 Pinto wagon.  Well, at least some it, unless it’s a total rustbucket.

3.  Fight Skunk Odors.  It will surely rid the stink from the dead squirrel you’ve be hauling around in the trunk of your Pinto.

4. Get back prettier hair from chlorine damage. Two or three Heize packets from Dairy Queen will rinse the filthy sewer water right out.  Sure, you’ll lose a handful along the way, but what’s left will look shiny and clean.

5.  Soothe stab wounds.  Inmates always have ketchup hidden in their cells. It’s super for healing up razor cuts, shank holes and general stab wounds.  Glue them together with crazy glue and it’s all good(

So, if you’re in the mood for  Sunday barbeque and you need to something to strip the paint off of your boat trailer, run over to the bodega around the corner and buy a tub of ketchup.  It can be found just about anywhere and if you’re smart enough you could hit every McDonald’s or Burger King around town and get your fill for free.  “I’d like a small tap water with lemon and 145 packets of ketchup, to go, please?”


~ by the115 on 05/03/2009.

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