The Daily Habit: Televison

Go to fullsize imageGo to fullsize image 11:56 pm

Simon Crowell:  Please, Just Go the Hell Home!- Let’s seen a show of hands, please.  How many Americans want to see that poofy jackass Simon Crowell leave American Idol and go back to Britain right now?  Just about everyone probably has up both hands because they plain hate that guy.  He’s an ignorant smartass with an opinion on everything, only he doesn’t know football from soccer or fish from chips.  Sure, he can pick a loser from 3 feet, but that’s not saying much if you’re making $45 milli for sitting around and being an anal retentive arisotcrat on t.v.  So, the real question is will Simple Simon leave the show early like we’re hoping, or will he defy our wishes and just stay on to piss us off every night at 9:00 for the next year? 

Since he’s America’s most hated t.v. star, Crowell wants to look on the bright side concerning his future with “American Idol.”  The famously prickish Crowell still loves doing the Fox network show and he’ll be staying put as judge at least another year, until his contract expires.  Recently he began widespread speculation that he might be leaving the bloody show.  In an interview in England’s Daily Mirror, he said he can’t keep up his busy schedule indefinitely with two British-based shows and other worthless projects that require no talent (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090414/ap_en_ce/cowell_american_idol;_ylt=Auj8WikCbayEO2XMNM3yZwlxFb8C).

Even so, Cowell says he is considering all options for the future and has come to no decision about how he might trim his workload, but that might change once the viewing audience finds out he decided to stick around and make some more of that ridiculous money for a while.  Face it Simon, everybody in America has a serious urge to jump through the television a few nights a week and punch you right in your fat face every time they see you.  You’re a boring, snobbish excuse for a man and you wouldn’t know talent if it jumped up on the table and gave you a private lap dance right on national tele.  So, please, without further adieu old chap, piss off and don’t come back. Chip chip cheerio.

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~ by the115 on 04/13/2009.

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