The Daily Habit: Culture
12:54 pm
Wake Up: Don’t Waste Your Money on this Junk- Things are tough in America right now, and for the spendaholics out there, it’s even tougher. No more $500 a night hookers, no more $1500 lunches at the track, and certainly no more trips to the mac machine for a few hundred clams worth of nose candy. Sure, the causal addicts out there can still have a little fun now and again, but they just have to cut out some of the other evil necessities in life. These days, keeping a budget in line isn’t measured by the amount one spends, but by how much one can save. Cut back on these extremely unnecessay seven items (yeah, like some guys really need high-priced call girls and a hundred dollar a day whiff habit in the first place) and you could save roughly $1,000 a year. Think about it: That’s $1000 more for the really good things in life.
1. Bottled Water. Why buy $6 a bottle sissy water when you can just go get if from the stinky hose in the alley for free? That’s where it comes from in the first place.
2. Extended Warranties. Who needs a warranty for a flat panel tv or computer? They’re going to be hocked to pay off your bookie before you even get a chance to use them.
3. Gym Memberships. You’re a fat druggie with a drinking problem. What the hell are you going to do at the gym?
4. Bank Overdraft Fees. Don’t worry about them. You don’t have a nickel in the bank anyway.
5. Organic Produce. The only ogranic produce you buy is pot, and it ain’t a fruit or vegetable.
6. Auto Insurance. You have 5 DUIs under your belt now. How the hell do you have a car, or a driver’s license?
7. Music Downloads. Don’t worry about these either. You’ll steal them from the internet just like everyone else (http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/106780/7-Things-You’re-Wasting-Money-On).
So you spend junkies out there, wise up and get real. There are plenty of easy ways to save a few quid each month; you just have to embrace them with an open mind. Cut out drinking water, don’t wath any t.v., avoid searching for internet porn, stop smoking so much pot and sell that rusty 1975 Pinto that’s home to a family of rabid squirrels. If you do, they’ll be plenty of money around to feed your nasty habits. If you don’t, you’re going to end up selling your soul to the devil at a garage sale, and he’s going to get it dirt cheap.
