The Daily Habit: Sports
•02/08/2010 • Leave a Comment
The Daily Habit: Sports
•02/05/2010 • Leave a Comment
Is that a Rocket in Your Pants or are You Just Happy to be Sledding? – INDEPENDENCE MICHIGAN - If you have a large family, chances are you have a crazy uncle that pisses everyone off. You know the one. He’s the guy that gets licquored up before noon on Thanksgiving day and ends up having to sleep it off in the downstairs family room until your aunt wakes him up from dead the next morning. He’s also been known to build a do-it-yourself helicopter in his garage, then try to fly it down at the quarry, until the fire department comes and shuts him down, twice. He’s a treat alright, but he’s a rare breed and he’s lived his whole life in search of never-ending fun. Well, this guys not much different, only he found true joy in catching himself on fire, then an ambulance had to come put him out.
A 62-year-old bob sledder looking for a blast of speed got it the hard way when the homemade bottle rocket strapped to his back exploded. In the aftermath of the rocket’s ignition he caught on fire and was burned on nearly 20 percent of his body. The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding keg party when he filled a muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, tied it to his back with a shirt, then lit it in hopes he would achieve “a rocket-launch effect that should have sent me to the next county, instead of the goddamn emergency burn unit.” (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100205/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_human_rocket_failure)
According to witnesses the rocket seem to work for a few minutes and the man did gain quite a bit of speed, until it blew up and caught him on fire, causing second-degree burns to his hands, face and genitalia. The local police declined to press charges since the man is known for doing “ridiculous things” at his legendary sledding keg parties, like last year when he tried to jump a frozen river on an Evel Knievel mini bike, but ended up falling short and fell through the ice when he landed. An anonymous source said that the man was let go because the very same police were at the sled party drinking beer and egging the old man on.
The Daily Habit: Business
•02/04/2010 • Leave a Comment
The Daily Habit: Weird News
•02/03/2010 • Leave a Comment
11:59 pm
A Traffic Fine for My Fake Friend? – ISLANDIA, NEW YORK – Have you even been arrested for doing something really stupid, then proceeded to tell the police a ridiculous story in hopes that they’d cut you a break? Like that one time when you and your buddies were caught with a case of beer and some numchucks up in the cemetary woods and you told the fuzz that you just happend upon them while you were robbing graves, so they let you go Or that other time when you were a fraternity pledge and got busted with a fake id during a bar raid and after hiding in the bathroom for three hours swallowing everyone’s weed you came out and told the state cops you were there to pick up a “drunk brother” and those dumb sonsabitches let you go. Well, this old broad and her fake friend weren’t so lucky, and they were both full of hot air.
A New York woman got slapped with a $135 traffic fine yesterday when she was busted for having a blow-up sex doll as her passenger in the car pool lane of the Long Island Expressway. Apparently the woman was in such a hurry to get to work she decided to try to pull a fast in order to cut out the wait in heavy traffic. On the way, a rookie sheriff’s deputy with a bad case of buck fever and a boner became excited when he saw the alleged “passenger” wearing a hair metal band wig, cheap sunglasses and sporting a seriously nice rack. The only problem: It was a cloudy day and the boobs looked too perfectly shaped in a halter top to be real.(http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100204/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_hov_mannequin)
When the vehicle was stopped the arresting cop, sure to get a “favor” in return for a favor, discovered that the sexy looking passenger was really a blow-up sex doll, fully dressed with a spiked wig, hillbilly halter top and stripper scarf. The 61-year-old driver, who had been arrested for the same stunt once before, was ticketed $135 and was ordered to dress up like a hooker and stand out on the highway with a sign saying “I was caught with a blow up sex doll in the car pool lane” every day for a month. The moral of this story is that if you are going to ride with a blow up doll in the car pool lane, make sure it’s a fat one with a big head and lots of rubber moles on her face.
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?